WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Australia’s very own Member for Manilla has sensationally announced he will be walking away from politics to pursue a career in boxing. The maverick borderline conspiracist made the call last night, revealing that he would not re-contest the next election in a bid to kick-start a
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The member for Manila George Christensen’s colleagues have done a whip around and purchased the retiring MP a golden ping pong ball to commemorate his time in parliament. ”What an amazing gift, I tell you this is going straight to the pool room,” said the Member for Manila.
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WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A local chippy has reduced his jobsite to tears this afternoon, after hitting his young apprentice with a classic one liner. “Working half days now are we Hugo,” yelled the 59-year-old soon to be grandfather a short time ago. He dropped the never failed sledge
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CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT While at work, local Betoota Grove-based asset manager Kyra Bardon has no interest in discussing anything other than work. This is mainly because she realised quite early on in her career that the only thing she has in common with her colleagues is their bizarre skill
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CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Being the only bloke in town who cares about carbon emissions and the plight of refugees can be a lonely existence for an Outback small-business owner like Dale Hinze. As the last man standing from a rural dynasty of Labor voters that dates back to the
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EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT A woman was left feeling incredibly uncomfortable today after venturing into a boutique clothing/knick knack store. Hayley Gordon, says she was in the middle of looking at some ceramic frogs when she felt the intense, hot stare of the elderly lady behind the counter. As
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CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former NRL star Paul Gallen has only further clarified to the world that he has what it takes to physically and mentally incapacitate middle-aged men with his closed fists, after knocking out former world champion Lucas ‘Big Daddy’ Browne last night in the first round of
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SPORT: Elements within the AFL fear that businessman Mark Korda will face internal pressure and a campaign to undermine his position and authority just days after being announced as the Collingwood Football Club’s new president. It has been revealed that Mr Korda, a long-serving Collingwood board member, secured the
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What role should religion play in the governance of Australia? And is it healthy for our nation to have a Prime Minister who is not only so openly committed and devoted to a charismatic church of happy-clapping Pentecostals with some very strange ideas but who clearly sees
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Aspiring comedian and self-confessed Mother of the year Gina Rinehart has called upon Australia to stop building wine bars and start building mine bars. ”The inner city types need to start embracing more mines and less wines,” said Lord Rinehart. ”I worked too damn hard to inherit my
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Did anyone else hear a funny little “tinkling” sound in the background when Chris Uhlmann was reporting on a new federal voting intentions poll on last night’s Channel 9 6pm news? I could be wrong but I thought it might have been Chris pissing himself with excitement that
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ADVERTISING: A major advertising agency has defended its work on the Morrison Government’s now-abandoned videos aimed at teaching young people about the importance of consent in personal and sexual relationships. Ivor Teeshert, principal of the Balmain-based creative agency Mennett-Woke said widespread criticism of the videos was misplaced. “The single
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The failure of the Government’s most recent campaign around the issue of consent which was centered around tacos, milkshakes and sharks combined with his previous failures as head of Tourism Australia has the PM’s colleagues beginning to doubt that he is in fact really from marketing. “Scotty did
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CANBERRA: Shooting of a biopic with Prime Minister Scott Morrison playing himself has started in the nation’s capital and at other locations around the nation. The new movie, based on a screenplay developed over many drafts by a writers’ table comprising a number of Peter van Onselens, has
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END OF A PUBLISHING ERA? A directors’ meeting this afternoon will decide whether The Bug, Australia’s oldest and least profitable satire publication, will close its doors for good. A motion to close down immediately was framed by the magazine’s shattered team of writers after they viewed a new Morrison
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Aspiring Minister for Home Affairs Barnaby Joyce has told colleagues how excited he was to learn that Parliament house is now doing Taco Tuesdays with a free milkshake. ”Let me tell you there is no bigger fan of the old fish taco than one Barnaby Thomas Gerard Joyce,”
read nowNiche cable channel Sky News Australia has touted the recent ratings success of broadcaster Alan Jones after the recently turned octogenarian cracked the elusive 8 actual viewers number. ”What a great result Alan has delivered to us, 8 whole viewers,” said a Network Spokesperson. ”And we only spent
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Australia’s Member for Manila George Christensen has begged the PM to move the planned Australia New Zealand travel bubble from New Zealand to the Philippines. ”The PM needs to get his head in the game and focus on what’s important, like getting people back to the Philippines,” said
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