Category: The (un) Australian

In response to the Auditor General’s finding that a $100m program of sports funding was used to “pork barrel”, the Federal Government has decided to implement a new code for ministers reminiscent of the Howard Government’s Code of Conduct. To be named the Ministerial Code of Suggestions for Conduct

A positive has emerged from Australia’s summer of bushfires as scientists report that countless spiders, ticks, ants and other dickhead animals have perished in the flames. “Those little eight legged bastards can scuttle as fast as they want but they won’t be able to outrun a rampaging fire front,”

Tasmanian Premier Will Hodgman has resigned saying he wants to spend more time getting to know his other head. “Politics is hard work and I’ve found that I’ve drifted apart from my other head over the past five years,” said an emotional former Premier as he dabbed tears from

The Morrison Government’s Minister for Manila George Christensen has been kept busy trying to organise a fundraiser for Filipino victims of the Australian bushfires. “The bushfires in Australia are taking an horrific toll not just here but abroad,” said the Minister for Manila. “Many reputable business people like Myself

One Nation leader Senator Pauline Hanson has refused to rule out the World being flat and the effect of which exacerbating the current bushfires burning in Australia. “We can’t say for sure that the earth is round,” said Senator Hanson. ”I have been shown some fascinating blogs and YouTube

Australia’s Prime Minister (for now) Scott Morrison has told colleagues to not worry too much about the bushfires as they will soon be extinguished by rising sea levels caused by climate change. “Yeah Scotty’s not too phased by the bushfires as he’s adamant that the Lord will intervene somehow