Category: The (un) Australian

Australia’s defamation lawyers have all paused today for a minutes silence to pay tribute to retiring shock jock Alan Jones. ”It’s a very sad day for the defamation industry in Australia with the loss of the Alan Jones radio show,” said an Industry Spokesperson. ”I mean sure he’ll still

NRL Boss Peter V’landys has ordered Prime Minister Scott Morrison to arrange for the nation’s school kids to sit in the stands during this weekend’s round of rugby league matches. ”We’ve been told it’s safe for kids to go to school, so why shouldn’t they go and watch the

A contrite nuclear physicist at CERN has been severely reprimanded after putting Hot Wheels cars at each end of the Large Hadron Collider and conducting experiments to see if anything cool happens when they crash at high speeds. “We caught Dr Lesney accelerating a 1967 Chevrolet RS and a

Prime Minister Scott Morrison and his Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton have called on the media to learn the difference between a ship and a boat after a ship docked in Fremantle with Covid infected crew. ”The media in this country really need to step up and

Prime Minister Scott Morrison has lifted spirits in the Coalition party room by pulling out his favourite party trick of asking the Finance Minister Matthias Cormann to do some basic maths. ”Scotty really knows how to keep spirits high,” said a Coalition Insider. ”I tell you when he asked

Prime Minister Scotty from marketing has promised to use the leftover $60 billion dollars from the Job Keeper program to invest in schools, with plans to build a statue of Captain Cook in every school in Australia. “How good is Captain Cook?” Said Prime Minister Scotty. ”What a treat