Category: The Shovel

People in Melbourne have gathered in bars, cafes and restaurants across the city to be oppressed for one final time before they are freed from a ruthless regime that has ruled over them for almost a decade. Walking through the city while being forced to enjoy a range of shopping

Up to 40,000 journalists are without work after newspaper The Herald Sun announced it would be closing its Dan Andrews division, due to changing market conditions. The division produced up to eleven thousand stories a day about the Victorian Premier. Herald Sun staff held out hopes that the sub departments

Victoria will say thank you to its longest-serving Labor Premier with a quick six-day lockdown which will end up lasting the best part of four months. Victorian authorities said the celebration of Andrews’ career will last as long as it takes. “We don’t want to rush this. Stay tuned for

A man who spent the better part of three years researching the connection between pizza parlours, child trafficking, Hunter Biden and infectious diseases, says a four-word sign is all he needs to decide about an Indigenous Voice to Parliament.  The man, who once watched a 13-hour video about Bill Gates’s

Disgraced public servant Michael Pezzullo has stood down from his role as Home Affairs Secretary and will work as a partner at accounting firm PwC while an investigation into his conduct takes place. PwC said Pezzullo, who is accused of misusing his role to influence Government decision-making, will fit right

Saying he wanted to bring a more progressive perspective to the network, Lachlan Murdoch has appointed Tony Abbott to the Fox News board, with the former PM’s views on same-sex marriage, abortion and race relations likely to ruffle a few feathers amongst Fox viewers. “A lot of our viewers think

Taking a break from his 6,500 square foot Central Park penthouse to spend some down time on his $150 million yacht, a newly-retired billionaire has emailed his staff reminding them to keep holding elites to account. “Elites have open contempt for those who are not members of their rarefied class”

The scope of Australia’s inquiry into the COVID-19 pandemic has been broadened and will now seek to understand what the actual fuck Scott Morrison was doing putting his fingers in a stranger’s hair in early 2022. The review has been extended from 12 months to two years in order to

After two decades of having to endure the woke agenda set by his father, incoming Fox Chairman Lachlan Murdoch says he now finally has a chance to include some conservative talking points on the news network. “When we’re sitting in the newsroom and someone says they want to run a

American media magnate Rupert Murdoch has announced plans to step down as Chairman of News Corp and Fox Corporation, saying he wanted more time to spend on Australian policy development. The 92 year-old had previously run his media and nation-state interests simultaneously, but says it is now time to slow

A twenty-three-year-old man who spends six to seven hours each day watching Russell Brand videos on YouTube says it’s pretty clear that if Russell Brand sexually assaulted women, then he was forced into by a cabal of pharmaceutical CEOs operating out of an underground cave in Washington D.C. “Connect the

A political party that was so chaotically inept that it could not manage to build a few dodgily-funded car parks next to a suburban train station, has unveiled plans to replace Australia’s entire energy grid with nuclear reactors. “While it is true that we were unable to project manage the